I know in life there is a rainbow..it is nice to look at and we gravitate towards it...expecting a pot of gold at the end..but is there.
To many people..the rainbow and pot of gold is many things ..same hair color..different intention
I dunno what my rainbow is....but to me..the pot of gold is life contentment
What is life content
-free of debt
-have a good home
-Good and reliable friends
-a son..i really want a son
Where am I now
Job
-I can brag that I work at an MNC but I am so ashamed to show people my workplace..ahahaha..not the dreamjob I expected 5 years ago..but beggars like me can't be choosy..not in this economic climate.
House
-Can't afford the super duper expensive but small houses in KL..I wanna live in KL or have a house in Selangor...worse Ipoh. But my mom and aunty bought a really big house in Shah Alam when it was not 40% overpriced as now in 2007. The loan is very2 long and I guess I will have to chip in some day. I dunno..see la..maybe they sell it for good money but then what can they buy after that...a flat? Better to keep the house.At least it is landed.
Son
I have to tell the truth..I have difficulty investing interest in women around me..maybe because..as I am now..I am the only man of the house..my mom, sister,nenek,bibik and aunty.gosh..and the girls that I have met..are...'blank'..well.dunno what to say. But have no money for that responsibility yet.I have other plans for my money.
But I am no queer..I'd like to have a family..a child...likely a son,..I dun even mind adopting but in our system,..you need to be married to adopt..damn..susah jugak takde mak nanti jadi pelek anak nanti..entahla..just wait for some spark to happen.
EMotional downturn
Another reality.I am not actually happy. I am getting mood swings. I know I dun have what women have once a month bit at some times I get very emotional and angry and yang kene family aku. I am rather rude to my mom and grandmother especially when they get fussy(biasele perempuan)..so I when I get that swing I try to to stay in my room and just lie there..playing with the hamster and relieving myself.I am usually able to pent up these swings at work by indulging in some simple pleasures and keeping myself busy..dem what is wrong with me.
Dissatisfaction
I am actuallt not happy with my life.some parts of me. My family is middle class and educated. My mom and dad divorced but we got over it. One thing I am not happy despite being a RM20 000/month household..but this is recent as I have started working and my mom promoted twice 3 years and her salary doubled and my aunty get steep salary hikes every year..we were probably poorer by 50% in 2006..despite this 'durian runtuh' in income elevation..we are financially insecure My mom us still tied to the relatively new house loan(while people her age had already paid off theirs) plus the commitement to the shah alam house,and the car loans, I owe MARA some 10% of the total SPC scheme which I am grateful considering the other 90% is free and my brother's is saddled with his own study loan after he bungled up in his radiotherapy course after which he went into marketing in which he is doing quite well thank god.I now have my sister to worry about. I'd like her to go into into a field with job security. No engineering or biotech..either she takes accounting, pharmacy or medicine. She is smart but playful..but I am sure she'll do fine but i'd like to be there to help in any way so that she does not go through the shit I went through.
I guess there are many factors I am not happy
-Many things in 2009 made me angry..I have never gotten over it and I felt like killing several people.But I was at fault too..but I want to believe it is totally their fault.
-I am aerospace graduate..but stuck in a electronics factory..guess I take this as a personal and career failure and my position at MEMC is not confirmed yet till February. Guess that will be the test in my career direction.
-My stupid father went missing. He still gives his pathethic dumb amount of a money for our upbringing but he is totally useless.We are not sure he's still living at his old place and he will only talk to us via SMS..won't even pick up his phone for us. But we are fine even without his stupid monthly contribution.Up to him la...10 years ago he made a decision to leave us and even disappeared for 6 months..I am not surprised with him as it is now but still seriously upset with my old man.Maybe I am bitter because of his genes..gosh!!!
-There are many things...which I dun bother to share..coz people don;t care...hahha..don't worry..I'll figure something up..I have had too many surprises to give up now. I still have a family and some good friends I can rely on..not the shithead fake friends I had and pretentious cousins who wish to see I fail.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
End of 2010
Time flows like water into a deep ravine..never coming back
Work
'
As usual. Still a noob and bugging Dwe to pass on his knowledge. More and more people bugging me about the microscan and lasermark machines which I still have no idea about. More or less, I am still on a tight learning curve. Problems come intermittently and I try to understand them..failing at which I will blame the operators.
Weddings
Went to Suraya's sister's wedding.Makan best. Went with Arep and Acap . Nice change for a while.Ayik dok unah je time weekend.
Budget 2011 and ETP
Biug big project means election is just aroud the corner. MRT, 100 storey buildings but no bonus for civil servants. Kesian my mom..really needs the momey for the new house in Shah Alam.
Accidents
There has been alot of horrible accidents lately. The bloody bus accident and later an accident just near my house. DId not have the guts to watch. But I noticed people on motorcycles stopping and rushing to the scene eventhough an ambulance arrived..the motherfuckers must want the plate number fot toto...
Future plans
Still dunno. EASA is out of the question...where the fuck am I gonna get RM50k and it will take ages to get certified as an LAE..I dun have luxury like the elites.
So guess I will be stuck with MEMC for a while. Probably the worst MNC around but they pay my salary on time. Not the next logical plan is to save up for something.Marriage? Nahh..takde jodoh yet. Buying a house? Too bloody expensive nowadays. Travelling? Now that is an idea..cheaper than marrying and buying a house Kereta tak nak beli...the Kelisa will be fine for now.
Work
'
As usual. Still a noob and bugging Dwe to pass on his knowledge. More and more people bugging me about the microscan and lasermark machines which I still have no idea about. More or less, I am still on a tight learning curve. Problems come intermittently and I try to understand them..failing at which I will blame the operators.
Weddings
Went to Suraya's sister's wedding.Makan best. Went with Arep and Acap . Nice change for a while.Ayik dok unah je time weekend.
Budget 2011 and ETP
Biug big project means election is just aroud the corner. MRT, 100 storey buildings but no bonus for civil servants. Kesian my mom..really needs the momey for the new house in Shah Alam.
Accidents
There has been alot of horrible accidents lately. The bloody bus accident and later an accident just near my house. DId not have the guts to watch. But I noticed people on motorcycles stopping and rushing to the scene eventhough an ambulance arrived..the motherfuckers must want the plate number fot toto...
Future plans
Still dunno. EASA is out of the question...where the fuck am I gonna get RM50k and it will take ages to get certified as an LAE..I dun have luxury like the elites.
So guess I will be stuck with MEMC for a while. Probably the worst MNC around but they pay my salary on time. Not the next logical plan is to save up for something.Marriage? Nahh..takde jodoh yet. Buying a house? Too bloody expensive nowadays. Travelling? Now that is an idea..cheaper than marrying and buying a house Kereta tak nak beli...the Kelisa will be fine for now.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
EASA
I really feel like quitting MEMC and enrol into the EASA program. Long years before I become an LAE but it is better thab being stuck at a factory for 20 years..
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Friday Night...dinner with the TexanBoss makan pizza
Wyatt, the Texan guy who headed the Process team invited us to his house at Desa Citypark for a pizza dinner. He just brought over his wife and four kids from Texas so his wife could not prepare an american dinner and we settled for pizza hut.
Wyatt is an American engineer for MEMC for 10 years already. He looks young, good looks with big jutting chins but his hairline is receding, I give him 3 years before he is bald in the middle. As I observed, the mat salleh age really fast, really pity them. Not sure about age but he's about 40 but a strong lean soldier like body but his 4 kids are only between 2-8(3 girls 1 boy, the are all so cute, hope they get jobs when they grow up)!! His wife is the same age as they met at school at their small town, Gaiasville(his litte girl showed me on the map), Texas I think. Like any Texan familty, they are very conservative. So don't imagine his wife like Lady Gaga or his children like the kids at that stupid Kimora show or worse like in Family Guy. They are country people with strong family and Christian values based on the children's bible strewn around the house.The children even sent their own dishes to the sink and make their own beds!! Very nice family. Wyatt did not come from a rich Beverly Hills family or the son of a Houstan business baron, so he worked hard to get where he is. He is not much different from my mom but my mom travelled around the world more than he does.Pretty good to have a boss like him but I still have to watch out and not let my guard down..for office politics purposes. At the plant, i didn't bother Wyatt much as my processes were stabile and I try to solve the problems by myself as much as possible.So this dinner was a good warming up session with Wyatt and the other 6 engineers some of them I barely spoken to since I came in!!
Wyatt is posted at KL for one year. So he'll be gone by September 2011. That is bad as it getting a new Process boss is always unpredictable..you don't know what kind of guy will replace Wyatt!! So MEMC rented a house at the award winning Desa Citypark township(the cheapest unit is RM1.1 million!!) for a year and also got him a Perdodua Alza which must be an awkward car to these Americans with their big cars/SUVs. Their unit is a three storey townhouse with three rooms. Very roomy but not a house to a Malaysian liking but the township is really amazing and first class with 9 feet walkways, a central park with a wetland, a lake and a central shooping complex with a supermarket and restaurants but soo unMalaysia.Prefer the Malaysian neighbourhod with the mango and banana trees and the red tokongs under big trees.But Wyatt and his family are not Malaysians..so what the fuck do they care. A very confined township with first class facilties and wide open spaces. A good choice for Wyatt and his family as they come from the wide open Texas country(imagined it like the Australian Bush..haha). After the pizzas, talked here and there, It was kinda awkward. We talk and then pause until someone talk about the weather or durian or something, Wyatt's wife was pretty quiet and in Australia the white women are very talkative and based from Family Guy I thought American women would be talkative,but she is Texan. Engaged her several times and gave up after seeing how nervous she is in coping with 7 asians with different racial background and english accents(we are 2 Malays, 2 chinese,1 Tamil and 2 Sikhs). We must be as good as aliens to her..haha. But Wyatt was a very good host and took us on a stroll around his squeaky clean township. Some of us wanted to go home but we dared not protest out of politeness.Some of us worked hard the whole day and would just lie down that night to watch Astro or jerk off.In the end, some of us had ice cream at the nearby mall and we ended up circling the central lake and watching Wyatt's cute children playing around before we parted ways.It must be exciting for them to stay at a foreign country. I know how that felt. Hope the Malaysian experience will have a good impact on their lives!!!Hope Wyatt will give the green light for my probabtion result in February!!
Wyatt is an American engineer for MEMC for 10 years already. He looks young, good looks with big jutting chins but his hairline is receding, I give him 3 years before he is bald in the middle. As I observed, the mat salleh age really fast, really pity them. Not sure about age but he's about 40 but a strong lean soldier like body but his 4 kids are only between 2-8(3 girls 1 boy, the are all so cute, hope they get jobs when they grow up)!! His wife is the same age as they met at school at their small town, Gaiasville(his litte girl showed me on the map), Texas I think. Like any Texan familty, they are very conservative. So don't imagine his wife like Lady Gaga or his children like the kids at that stupid Kimora show or worse like in Family Guy. They are country people with strong family and Christian values based on the children's bible strewn around the house.The children even sent their own dishes to the sink and make their own beds!! Very nice family. Wyatt did not come from a rich Beverly Hills family or the son of a Houstan business baron, so he worked hard to get where he is. He is not much different from my mom but my mom travelled around the world more than he does.Pretty good to have a boss like him but I still have to watch out and not let my guard down..for office politics purposes. At the plant, i didn't bother Wyatt much as my processes were stabile and I try to solve the problems by myself as much as possible.So this dinner was a good warming up session with Wyatt and the other 6 engineers some of them I barely spoken to since I came in!!
Wyatt is posted at KL for one year. So he'll be gone by September 2011. That is bad as it getting a new Process boss is always unpredictable..you don't know what kind of guy will replace Wyatt!! So MEMC rented a house at the award winning Desa Citypark township(the cheapest unit is RM1.1 million!!) for a year and also got him a Perdodua Alza which must be an awkward car to these Americans with their big cars/SUVs. Their unit is a three storey townhouse with three rooms. Very roomy but not a house to a Malaysian liking but the township is really amazing and first class with 9 feet walkways, a central park with a wetland, a lake and a central shooping complex with a supermarket and restaurants but soo unMalaysia.Prefer the Malaysian neighbourhod with the mango and banana trees and the red tokongs under big trees.But Wyatt and his family are not Malaysians..so what the fuck do they care. A very confined township with first class facilties and wide open spaces. A good choice for Wyatt and his family as they come from the wide open Texas country(imagined it like the Australian Bush..haha). After the pizzas, talked here and there, It was kinda awkward. We talk and then pause until someone talk about the weather or durian or something, Wyatt's wife was pretty quiet and in Australia the white women are very talkative and based from Family Guy I thought American women would be talkative,but she is Texan. Engaged her several times and gave up after seeing how nervous she is in coping with 7 asians with different racial background and english accents(we are 2 Malays, 2 chinese,1 Tamil and 2 Sikhs). We must be as good as aliens to her..haha. But Wyatt was a very good host and took us on a stroll around his squeaky clean township. Some of us wanted to go home but we dared not protest out of politeness.Some of us worked hard the whole day and would just lie down that night to watch Astro or jerk off.In the end, some of us had ice cream at the nearby mall and we ended up circling the central lake and watching Wyatt's cute children playing around before we parted ways.It must be exciting for them to stay at a foreign country. I know how that felt. Hope the Malaysian experience will have a good impact on their lives!!!Hope Wyatt will give the green light for my probabtion result in February!!
Things fall into place 2
Sambungf before saya melalut
Ok..where life threw me after highs school..no proms unfortunately...sekolah miskin!!
-Matriculation. One mont stint at Gopeng,.nothing much..my first time being away from home. hated it.
-INTC,Best 1.5 years of my life. Had some good friends, joined a Hiking Club, which took me camping at the beach, Taman Negara and climbed my first Mount, G.Jerail la tapi but these were all new things and I was so thrilled and prouds to have performed them. Life at INTEC prepared me for Australia. It built my confidence and as a consequent I had a very adventurous spirit.. I like to travel and plan to travel the world!!
-University of Adelaide. Good and bad times, The transition to adulthood! Was kinda study focused dring the first 2 years as we had fucking difficult subject, ade la supp sini sane but I worked hard and stayed at CATS for hours so that i never failed a single subject throughout the four years!! I also made sure I travel during the semester break. Went to Melbourne(total 12 times!!), Sydney, Perth, Tasmania, Brisbane, Sunshine Coast,Gold Coast(two times,Movie World, Seaworld, Wet n Wild) and even New Zealand covering Christchurch, Queenstown, Milford Sound and the Fox Glaciers. But my favourite place is still South Australia, the most awesome state!!! Even at SA I always try travelling here and there. Covered Fleurieu peninsular countless times, barossa valley(once in 2008 went there twice in 2 weeks when received two visitors from Melbourne, terpaksa jadi tour guide adoi), Yorke Peninsular, Kangaroo Island(3 times during Summer and Autumd, awesome!!) and even the amazingly large Murray River with its sheer cliffs. because of this travelling, I really fell in love with South Australia.Curse the day I left Adelaide. Sometimes, I really want to save up and apply PR, hope to get someone there to sponsor me..(takpe ihsan aku tak kacau kau.aku tau kau busy gile).Besides that, love also blssomed in Adelaide for me.To tell the truth I had a very insane crush on someone at Adelaide, who that is, for you to find out..kept thinking about that person from time to time..makes me crazy sometimes..but we are on separate ways now..doubt we'll cross paths ever again.!!Adelaide was a really crazy growing up process, and I changed in many ways for better or worse.
Working Life..a new chapter
After the happy endings at the gradyatuon ceremony where I sojourned Adelaide, Melbourne and Gold Coast possibly for one last time..I entered adulthood and got a job.
After doing some stint at UniKL doing marketing and a small engineering firm as a project engineer, I finally settled in at MEMC, a manufacturer of silcon substrate used for semiconductor products. I firmly believed that this multinational company, with a German onwer but US based Global HQ would provide me with valuable engineering experience and they did not disappoint.8 weeks passed so quickly and I felt as if I worked there for months. The plant with round the clock shfts is constantly alive with activities. Going home at 8pm is considered normal.
As a process engineer, I was in charge of the process of 17 edge profiling machines. At this stage, silicon wafers, are grinded at the edges for easier processing at the upstream stages. This process is considered stabile with very high yield but for time to time gets affected by defects due to machine problems or the specifications from the customers are too tight.Nothing I can't handle but I find it really challenging working with different engineering teams(manufacturing,production and quality) with different ways of doing things..But it seems MEMC does not like things too easy for their engineers and I am now having the priviliege of adding 48 more machines into my babysitting lists thanks to the inefficiency at an upstream pricess team which require the senior engineer from my team to go there to help things out. Worse of all, I am not getting any pay raise for triplling my work load. Pray that only a handul of machines gets fucked up at one of a time!!
But this may be good in the long run. I get loads of technical experience and develop soft skills(meeting stuff, dealing with documents, presentations) and office politics skills(be quiet, smile and listen alot)..no kidding. My plan is to stay between 1-2 years before moving on. the downside of a MNC is that you are nobody to them.i HATE THAT. So maybe sometime later, I'll go to another smaller company or somewhere nearer my KL home or better,try to apply for jobs in Australia and get PR,......it is a plan..not bullet proof yet but on goin!!! Insya-Allah. Life has thrown me so many surprises and I am grateful..I look forward to my future!!
Ok..where life threw me after highs school..no proms unfortunately...sekolah miskin!!
-Matriculation. One mont stint at Gopeng,.nothing much..my first time being away from home. hated it.
-INTC,Best 1.5 years of my life. Had some good friends, joined a Hiking Club, which took me camping at the beach, Taman Negara and climbed my first Mount, G.Jerail la tapi but these were all new things and I was so thrilled and prouds to have performed them. Life at INTEC prepared me for Australia. It built my confidence and as a consequent I had a very adventurous spirit.. I like to travel and plan to travel the world!!
-University of Adelaide. Good and bad times, The transition to adulthood! Was kinda study focused dring the first 2 years as we had fucking difficult subject, ade la supp sini sane but I worked hard and stayed at CATS for hours so that i never failed a single subject throughout the four years!! I also made sure I travel during the semester break. Went to Melbourne(total 12 times!!), Sydney, Perth, Tasmania, Brisbane, Sunshine Coast,Gold Coast(two times,Movie World, Seaworld, Wet n Wild) and even New Zealand covering Christchurch, Queenstown, Milford Sound and the Fox Glaciers. But my favourite place is still South Australia, the most awesome state!!! Even at SA I always try travelling here and there. Covered Fleurieu peninsular countless times, barossa valley(once in 2008 went there twice in 2 weeks when received two visitors from Melbourne, terpaksa jadi tour guide adoi), Yorke Peninsular, Kangaroo Island(3 times during Summer and Autumd, awesome!!) and even the amazingly large Murray River with its sheer cliffs. because of this travelling, I really fell in love with South Australia.Curse the day I left Adelaide. Sometimes, I really want to save up and apply PR, hope to get someone there to sponsor me..(takpe ihsan aku tak kacau kau.aku tau kau busy gile).Besides that, love also blssomed in Adelaide for me.To tell the truth I had a very insane crush on someone at Adelaide, who that is, for you to find out..kept thinking about that person from time to time..makes me crazy sometimes..but we are on separate ways now..doubt we'll cross paths ever again.!!Adelaide was a really crazy growing up process, and I changed in many ways for better or worse.
Working Life..a new chapter
After the happy endings at the gradyatuon ceremony where I sojourned Adelaide, Melbourne and Gold Coast possibly for one last time..I entered adulthood and got a job.
After doing some stint at UniKL doing marketing and a small engineering firm as a project engineer, I finally settled in at MEMC, a manufacturer of silcon substrate used for semiconductor products. I firmly believed that this multinational company, with a German onwer but US based Global HQ would provide me with valuable engineering experience and they did not disappoint.8 weeks passed so quickly and I felt as if I worked there for months. The plant with round the clock shfts is constantly alive with activities. Going home at 8pm is considered normal.
As a process engineer, I was in charge of the process of 17 edge profiling machines. At this stage, silicon wafers, are grinded at the edges for easier processing at the upstream stages. This process is considered stabile with very high yield but for time to time gets affected by defects due to machine problems or the specifications from the customers are too tight.Nothing I can't handle but I find it really challenging working with different engineering teams(manufacturing,production and quality) with different ways of doing things..But it seems MEMC does not like things too easy for their engineers and I am now having the priviliege of adding 48 more machines into my babysitting lists thanks to the inefficiency at an upstream pricess team which require the senior engineer from my team to go there to help things out. Worse of all, I am not getting any pay raise for triplling my work load. Pray that only a handul of machines gets fucked up at one of a time!!
But this may be good in the long run. I get loads of technical experience and develop soft skills(meeting stuff, dealing with documents, presentations) and office politics skills(be quiet, smile and listen alot)..no kidding. My plan is to stay between 1-2 years before moving on. the downside of a MNC is that you are nobody to them.i HATE THAT. So maybe sometime later, I'll go to another smaller company or somewhere nearer my KL home or better,try to apply for jobs in Australia and get PR,......it is a plan..not bullet proof yet but on goin!!! Insya-Allah. Life has thrown me so many surprises and I am grateful..I look forward to my future!!
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