Saturday, October 24, 2009

One thing leads to another-Part 1

Several months ago. I have decided to stop waiting and staying at the same place. I refuse to fall into routine which I was doing all this time. Things and people always change around me, but I usually stay the same and in the end, I ended up losing many things.

Every day. I try to make it different than the day before. I try to be different. Try shaking off that herd mentality.

The first big step I took was abandoning tne glamours of Eid open houses and dedicating a whole weekend in the path of Allah. You may be surprised, I am not always a very observant Muslim, but yes, I DID STRIVED IN THE PATH OF ALLAH for a whole weekend. I did not laugh and make jokes eating mouthful of Raya morsels. But I learned many new things and see new places. I prayed alongsode Lebanese,Bangladeshi and Turks and It is surprising how different their views are on islam but we prayed together, in one saf.It was a small town, with only 2o Muslim families, yet they united and managed to erevt a house of worship for Allah In that weekend, I met more new people, Australians, eventhough they are immigrants, they are Australians nontheless, who have toiled and made their life in Australia. In the past three years, mingling with Malays only was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I failed to made any Australian freinds, their culture being too different, or is it just me, being a typical xenophobic Malay. In that weekend in the countryside, I have met Australians, Muslim they are and we have so much in common yet different in many ways, and we prayed together and exchanged stories. The old man, reminiscing his young years, after the fall of the ottoman empire, his life in Germany, as a stable hand, and his eventual immigration to the down under. His english was jumbled, but in every sentence, he gave us so much lessons from his 60 years on this Earth. The Lebanese, lamenting the lack Islamic schools, as he has the desire that his son does not become like him, Australianised, having no culture and identity. The secular Turk, who thinks Islam is too confusing and contradicting, yest he yearsn to unravel his doubtand believe in Allah. But the most amazing aspect of the weekend, was spending time with brother Hatham, the Aussie born Lebanese, who abandoned Computer Sciense for the sake of Al Hadith education in Syria. I was prejudiced. To me, people with beards usually ranting about death to Israel as such. But no, not a single word of malice was uttered of any jews. His words, were expressing the true meaning of the Koran and al-hadith and I learned and experienced much of the essence of Islam from that whole weekends. The way he shared the knowledge of Deen, his interactions with the people around him, his patience and his passion for islam, was a mercy of Allah. To all those who wondered where I went to during that weekend, I just want to say, I'd rather skip a thousand Open Houses to experience that weekend again and Insya-Allah I will join a longer trip if circumstances permit.

Despite thah weekend. I am not a perfect Muslim. I still cannot fulfill my 5 daily prayers completely on many days, I cannot get rid of my bad habits and I am nasty to some people which I sorely am ashamed of doing again and again. But i still strive for myself. I have tried to attend Isya' every night, for a lesson with Hatham, and between that, sending pamphlets and fulfilling my obligations to my Final Year Project and many many assignments. Insya-Allah, I will cope with this ever busy life and dedicate more time to Allah. Because, the world cannot cure the sickness in me. I am sick of money, I have mo desire to be rich, my family was rich before, but because of greed we fell.....I had friends, but friends come and go and we are tied together by worly affairs which do not last. Only the deen, which continuously opposes the nafsu provides me with peace and tranquility. But in the path to better myself, I know I have also hurt othe people and I sincerely regret this...I will have to find a way with Allah's guidance, to adress this.

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